Day 5 · Friday 30 October 2026 · 13:14

Day 5: Corridor speak

“As I said, Villain Con 26 was an easy breezy week.” Day 5 closes the loop on Day 1, line for line, and then says what the week was for.

Day 5: the host in coloured rim light, holding a red cloth mask, beside a Council notice about corridor talk — The mask comes back out on Day 5. Nobody put it on.

Technically, he probably should have taken it more seriously, “because the entire internet is now at risk”, and there is “some sort of airborne virus” that he should be wearing a mask for every time he speaks to you in public. “But technically this isn’t the public, so let’s hold off on the masks for now.” Day 1 opened masked and took it off. Day 5 brings it back out.

Overheard

Then something overheard from the Council: corridor speak. “Don’t take it without a grain of salt. Take some sort of sodium chloride.” The rumour, as overheard, is that we are all being drawn into a black hole, which is why time has been loopy. “Scientists have just discovered it, but us at Villain Con have known about it for a while.” Salt is available at the back.

The week, explained

That is why “the visuals have been getting down low” (on Day 4 the lights were about to dim) and why “the music has been sucking you in with some sort of NLP technology” (on Day 1 the NLP was fine; stay asleep). “We are doing our part to make you relaxed while we enter into this next stage.”

Day 5: the host with a blue cast on one arm, holding a can, beside a notice auditing the five-movie ask — Five movies in one year. The Council checked twice.

The ask

Why don’t you let me make five movies for you. Two simulmakes, technically that’s four movies, and then a 119. That equals five. I’ll do it in a year.
Day 5

Then: “Take away these Hollywood pretenders who think they still have access to the muse. Take away their power and give it to me.” And, straight away:

Not me. I mean, Villain Con, the council, they’re in charge. I’m just some sort of puppet that is speaking on their behalf.
Day 5

On Days 2 and 3 the narrator beside the stage was, literally, a puppet. The Council’s statement on the matter is on the board: The puppet says it was the Council. The Council confirms it was the puppet.

Day 5: the host with a can and a cast, beside a Council statement about Hollywood and the muse — Hollywood says it still has access to the muse. The muse was not consulted.

The sign-off: “You know how it works, right? No, you do not. Good to see you.”