Foyer · posted for the week

The Council’s notice board

Posted in the foyer for the week, and beside Days 1, 4 and 5 in the widescreen film. Read them in order, or don’t. The Council will know either way.

1. COUNCIL NOTICE

   Welcome to Villain Con 26. If you weren’t invited, you’re not invited. You’re watching anyway. Noted.

2. COUNCIL NOTICE

   By order of the Council, the Mystic Theatre has been commandeered for the week. The owner was compensated with a lamp. Please blow it out when you’re done.

3. SILVER SCREEN SEANCE

   The old-fashioned big screen is now Villain Con property. A seance calls back the dead. So does a remake. Hollywood has been holding seances for years without a licence. The licence is ours now.

4. REMINDER

   Day 1 rewound the tape to March 2020. Some of you didn’t notice. That’s fine. Stay asleep.

5. INTERNET STATUS

   70% at risk. The other 30% is ours. Our sites are fine. Right? Good.

6. CORRIDOR TALK

   The blogs from fifteen years ago have been found. The hackers read them, got bored and moved on to your videos. Understandable.

7. COUNCIL OBSERVATION

   The humans built a machine to spot machines. It spotted a human. The human has been labelled. The machine has been promoted.

8. CASTING UPDATE

   Hammerhead has heard there’s a movie. Hammerhead hears everything. It’s the head.

9. CASTING UPDATE

   Hammerhead’s headshot has arrived. It’s side-on. Both sides, separately.

10. WHAT IS A SIMULMAKE?

    Two films made as a pair and released together. Each one complete on its own. One keeps the light, the other keeps the dark, on purpose. Between them is a third thing nobody filmed.

11. CLARIFICATION

    Do not think about Barbenheimer. You just did. That’s the NLP working.

12. PROGRAMME NOTES

    Day 2: a man who would become good, but not yet. Day 3: a drink that hit the spot. One of these films is for children. The Council has not said which.

13. PROGRAMME NOTES

    Two films, one red suit. Ask who paid for it.

14. HOUSE RULES

    No eyes on the public. No humming. The regular way, or nothing. The rules said nothing about screens.

15. HEALTH NOTICE

    If you’ve suddenly gone thirsty, that’s a coincidence. Don’t come to us.

16. CASTING UPDATE

    The City of Gold is set on land, which rules Hammerhead out. He points to a full year on land (the Sahara, ’25, a clerical error) as relevant experience. Casting are reviewing it. Slowly.

17. CASTING UPDATE

    For the underwater film, casting asked Hammerhead whether he can hold his breath. He asked them the same question.

18. HISTORICAL NOTE

    The temple at Yonaguni was found in 1986 by a diver with the initials K.A. The Council has asked us to stop finding that interesting.

19. DAY 4 PRODUCTION LOG

    Take seventeen. Hammerhead attended in a pocket and left it without permission. He’d like it known that it was a dive, not a fall, and that it counts as his audition.

20. DAY 4 PRODUCTION LOG

    Day 4 was recorded seventeen times. The Council does not accept an eighteenth. That’s how a loop ends.

21. OPENING CEREMONY

    Hammerhead asked to join the shark tank. He was told it’s for guests. He has asked what that makes him.

22. AIRBORNE VIRUS POLICY

    Masks must be worn in public. This is not the public. If you’re watching this, you’re not the public either. Welcome.

23. AIRBORNE VIRUS POLICY

    The mask came off on Day 1 and came back out on Day 5. Nobody put it on. That’s a loop, not a policy.

24. CORRIDOR TALK

    Corridor speak is corridor speak. Salt is available at the back.

25. VIEWER ADVICE

    If the picture seems darker and the music seems closer, that’s normal. We’re nearly through.

26. VIEWER ADVICE

    Turn your phone off. Look us in the eyes. You’re watching this on your phone, aren’t you? Fine. Look at the phone.

27. THE ASK, AUDITED

    Five movies in one year: two simulmakes (that’s four films) plus one 119. Four plus one is five. The Council checked twice. In a loop, that counts as once.

28. GLOSSARY

    A 119 is a film of 119 minutes, not 120. The minute you get back is a gift from Villain Con.

29. COUNCIL STATEMENT

    Hollywood says it still has access to the muse. The muse was not consulted. The puppet says it was the Council. The Council confirms it was the puppet.

30. CASTING UPDATE

    Somebody has to break the news to Hammerhead. The Council has nominated somebody. Somebody has declined.

31. PERSONAL MESSAGE

    Hammerhead, if you’re reading this: we’re still enemies. Friendly ones. You’d say nemesis.

32. COUNCIL NOTICE

    This is now an end screen.